EMPLOYMENT WANTED

Bright, motivated individual with B.A. from respectable liberal arts college is looking for a fast-paced, dynamic company with enormous growth potential. Applicant is proficient in MS Office, multitasks well, and communicates readily and easily with others. Capable of some travel. Has considerable previous experience in a wide variety of work-related activities. Interested HR managers should contact me at:

Nathan Hollenbeck
2421 W. Riverside Dr.
Apt. 515
Eugene, OR 97405

No phone calls, please. Nathan Hollenbeck is an Equal Opportunity Employee, and does not discriminate against employers of any sex, national origin, religion, race, marital status, sexual orientation, age, disability, or any other non-merit factors.

UPDATE: I have recently been made aware that an actual person named Nathan Hollenbeck exists (though I think not in Eugene OR), which is not necessarily surprising since I used a random name generator to come up with the name. Neither disrespect nor respect toward Mr. Hollenbeck is intended, though I do apologize if he, or persons related to him, was in any way confused or inconvenienced by this ad.